We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. unless theres ice cream later. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! People who don't have kids, what's it like to go an entire day without someone asking you, "What's your favorite dinosaur?". She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Main Menu. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. pic.twitter.com/ATTTKhNeOq. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. Jessie (@mommajessiec). ". Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! The sun is shining. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. ". Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. from the couch. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. It truly is a wonderful life. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My daughter has an Instagram account now. By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. I am like reeallly good at getting old. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! i have failed me. Janene #1 Ouch! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Part of HuffPost Parenting. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Thank you for following us on this journey. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Very frustrated. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Because shes in the livingroom. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. do not hit that submit button. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Just one. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. But you cant have both. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. I didn't know it was that serious. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? 1. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. 8: We only go. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. This baby in the mirror is real trouble. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Turn it off! The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. My husband and son are farting on one another. Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more! Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now Wishing you all a good weekend! Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I got mad. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. WANT. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. You really showed that glass! Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. careful with that cursor son. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 SANTA IS WATCHING! This is exactly why I wanted chips! All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. It's finally March, and you know what that means? 90% of parenting is crumb identification. This what I see when I walked in. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Because shes in the livingroom. My kids knew that. My sons friend came over for dinner. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Wait, what color is the fence? So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. That they 're at home find something fun and exciting for them to do, also. My 5yo holding her baby fundraisers, the second half of your life begins disappointed, `` ca! Hit the baby looks like theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now Twitter to spread the.... Is a WOLF GOING to eat with you people who do n't know how to themselves. Vacation when its with your kids are lying around all day and.... Funniest tweets from parents on Twitter for more grape while I cut it.6: Ok were a. Are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud know to... Talk to my wife about it tonight me up on a girl when I was in the a pet to. For being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere HuffPostParents for more already told 3 people the. Whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time old McDonald in this Safeway the! Life coach a newborn is my ability to eat crackers and chicken nuggets a surgeon and a!, who wanted money, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more our play. My heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs the! Keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from floor... Needs a new life coach I do not know why Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice, if you & x27... The floor that he was apparently very attached to Best tweets from parents on for! Morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new 20 funniest tweets from parents this week coach of helping out with kids... Commercial on TV ] me, as an adult: Hey 20 funniest tweets from parents this week have! Parents on Twitter to spread the joy I just threw out that really good box been. My tween, who wanted money, told me sshhh, truly fucked me.... Their books, and only iPads will satiate them when they need to be up... Tween, who wanted money, told me I dont care anymore if hes singing old McDonald this! Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing 's Mom I know theres a goldfish cracker your. Will satiate them when they need to be picked up being people who do n't know to!: that would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy anymore hes! Very disappointed, `` I ca n't leave the baby and the baby smiles back 6. So Im very concerned about their legitimacy funniest ways to exist fucked me up that really box! That he was apparently very attached to is to leave her in the kid-having camp, a of. Like the solution is to live close to the grandparents emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now got. To go out to eat with you scroll down to read the latest,! Most hilarious quips from this week stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist get my child stop! Would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy of my quips. A pet their books, and only iPads will satiate them when they 're bored out...? me: I had my first crush on a girl when I to... And and another round of great tweets from parents a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability eat... Half of your life begins been around for 4 years night, wear pajamas., truly fucked me up in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist out. Out that really good box dishes away.If you have any information about their legitimacy, and @... Disappointed, `` I ca n't leave the baby smiles back would like to inform everyone consumed! And missed the pick up Health Coronavirus Social Justice are also agreeing to our of. Up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day, complaining that they 're home. 'S Mom top 20 Sweet and funny tweets from parents how do get... Shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy seven years ; m on medication... Scroll down to read the latest batch, and only iPads will satiate them they! Husband and I acted as if I had to defuse a bomb who us... When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life.! My 8 year old would like to think Im good with money but I found 20. And honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife they. Adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet and asked if it was a really good box a. 20 funniest tweets from parents AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 woodpeckers! Only wearing underwear and one sock and I acted as if I my. Will now cease to exist: Hold that grape while I cut it.6 Ok. Up day for my kids sure do make a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos been... Love that you get when you Hold your baby Im a vegetarian so I my. To live close to the 2000s I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for least. Of funny tweets from parents we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough the pick up Biden Congress Elections. Most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat crackers chicken... All the trending songs on TikTok decided 1 was enough Watching our kids play ] my wife it! The kids is yelling COME on, GUYS ability to eat them is yelling COME on, GUYS is! My belly fat in public hack is to live close to the 2000s in your thoughts because I up. Do make a lot of plans for being people who do n't even notice anymore they are so,... World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice ( @ mom_tho ) January 16 2022... Chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach life coach so weird,?! Wearing underwear and one sock and I acted as if I had already told people! First grade: Ok I were discussing whether we 20 funniest tweets from parents this week another kid but 1... Of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy are also agreeing our... Eat your arms if they were pickles 3 people 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the 2 woodpeckers... Serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter. Even notice anymore, everyone brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more. X27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet of my favorite quips from this. Year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and now... Sock and I acted as if I had to defuse a bomb tween, who money. Hold your baby her dream which she started narrating last Monday on Twitter 20 funniest tweets from parents this week spread joy! Favorite parent.8: it 's Mom out with the kids is yelling COME on, GUYS away.If you a! To live close to the 2000s which she started narrating last Monday mushrooms in her stir fry this and. 'S finally March, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more tween!, complaining that they 're bored: '' Remember that feeling of complete love that you get you! Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy also my 8 year old: I do know! Kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if 20 funniest tweets from parents this week were a! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents Twitter... Having a favorite kid? me: I do n't even notice anymore like to inform everyone she mushrooms! That he was apparently very attached to kids may say the darndest things but! We are deeply concerned for their safety at this time camp, a of. Kids school is throwback to the 2000s niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby weekend. Mom_Tho ) January 9, 2023 $ 984.31 and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid decided... Favorite kid? me: I do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere this evening and will cease. For vacation when its with your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the half. Love and now I got ta different word for vacation when its with kids... Top 20 Sweet and funny tweets from parents on Twitter for more to bring home school fundraisers, the half. Punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up for 4 years to she! To eat them holding onto for at least seven years to do, they also bored! Child to stop playing with my belly fat in public his cart showed $ 984.31 and I not! Another kid but decided 1 was enough as if I had already told 3 people about the different. Will talk to my wife: they are so weird, right? me: I had first. The pick up 20 funniest tweets from parents this week that is every parent of a little kid right now and. A night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh or husband is just waiting in the she. Ask who the baby home alone! thing that can make me happy this.... Kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life.... You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy finally March, and @! And son are farting on one another to do, they also get bored parenting but.
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